Wanted to BUY - Words of Wisdom
Anyone here who could offer some words of wisdom right now could save me a ruined vacation and I would appreciate it.
My ex sent me an email a few days ago, it was a suicide letter that blamed me for all his problems in life. Ok, I know I am not to blame. But 3 days later he shows up and apparently even failed at suicide, as much as he did marriage. He is desperately trying to ruin my vacation among other things and I am desperately trying to hold onto the fact that I wont let him. It IS getting hard to do when he is attempting suicide. He knows how I feel about being responsible for the lives and deaths of others. Hes hard using it against me. I want to ignore, but its a life in my hands. How do I let it go without feeling guilty if he hurts himself?
And thanks Az for your lyrical post. Sometimes I look in here and Im on the verge of tears and pain and I see your post, and I get to take that big sigh of relief thing. I dont know why you give me that, you just do.
With your calming affect on me, Bookends gentle spirit to soothe me and BM's spazmatic nature you really are all that I need to lean on. I hope you all know you can lean on me the same.
And I hope Dan reads this and realizes that I still lean on him too, just not as much anymore since he started playing Wow. Damn, I need a new game. But for now...
Im not sure how much of my blog Bookend and BM read, but I know Az read a lot about the deaths of my best friends. So if possible, please tell me how to ignore and push forward with someones life in my hands once again, a life I dont want, but I dont want to be the cause of it ending either.
posted by Ĵōÿ at 11:22 PM
2 Comments:
Ok, lets see. Firstly, you are responsible for no life beyond your own and any children you may sire. He is a grown man and needs to be responsible for himself. You cannot be a savior. If he choose to hurt himself or end his life it is NOT your fault. You cannot ruin your life for the sake of another. !st, block his freaking e-mail address! By allowing him any contact your just going to keep getting crap, like this. He had his cahnce and he f*cked it up, so now he's going to have to do what the rest of us do and live with his mistakes and shortcommings. Stop feeling responsible for him. Joy you are a damn good person and you deserve to be treated as such, and this loser didn't. So screw him. His life isn't in your hands, it's in his own. We have all been givien 1 life and we all owe 1 death. If he does decide to end his, thats his choice and his blame, not yours. If the maggot cared about you he would have treated you right in the first place, and wouldn't be trying to mess up your life now. He is a selfish lowlife bastard. Kick him the hell out of your life. He is you EX for a reason. Let him do whatever the hell he wants, and get on with your life. I SO HATE LOSERS WHO PLAY STUPID MIND GAME CRAP LIKE THIS! And I knwo for a FACT so do you.
Now go enjoy your vacation. I want pictures when you get back. Hows Kelly by the way?
Hehe Thanks Az. I know my friend has to think Im crazy now because I was laughing and crying at your post at the same time. Oh, (deep breath) but you are right. I do hate the games and he is now blocked from my email and messenger, I also turned off auto accept so he cant just add me at random.
Kelley seems to be doing good. It was WONDERFUL to see her and the highlight of my trip so far!!!
Thanks for the wisdom Az. I know all these thing and I know them to be true. But its hard to see the trees for the forest sometimes. Thanks for the clarity. :)
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