Angst of a teenage mind

I imagine i'm the youngest here posting, being only at the age of 17. Young by all means, but not naive... in some ways.

Tonight, i went around with my buddy Matt and company. Buddy of at least 13 of those 17 years. Good guy, almost like a third brother to me. Last night as well we went out to the local mall, and his girlfriend was trying to hook me up with her mormon friend. Now i want nothing to do with a mormon, but this girl was laying it on hard. I feigned ignorance and ignored her. The entire four hour period we were wandering around.

Back to tonight. Tonight wasn't bad, 4 guys and one girl going out to play some pool, acting like the kids we are. Driving by some flirty kids on the road and yelling at them, "you kids are fagits." Pronounced fay-jits. Driving up and down a road mutliple times to see how fast we could get a Ford Explorer going... 107 by the way.

Now, these 4 guys including myself and Matt, also included Mikey and Han. I drive those guys to school everyday, and they're a damned riot. I'd like to spend more time with these skater kids, than the bitchy guys i hang around now. Tensions are high in that bitchy group, and most everyday i consider just getting up and going to the section where those 3 others are. Complicated, anxiety bullshit, but bullshit i don't want to deal with anymore, not after 4 years of it.

This one girlwith, is a good friend, Laura. let me clue all of the rest of you in, that we used to be real flirty without actually doing anything or (at least in my case) admitting to anything. She found out somehow that i was into her, and shit got real akward for a long time. All it took to get it back to normal was the funeral of a kid a year younger than me that i've known just as long as matt, in some freak accident. I believe i made a mistake in deleting my old blog :
I'll make this several hour ordeal shorter, details aren't a necessity. Matt and Laura were flirting the entire time we played pool, tis ok. We then go speeding up and down a road many times, then decided to head back for gas and pick-me-ups as it is around 11. They see a couple girls they know, and they jump out to talk to 'em... they come back inside his Explorer and say "Dan we told that girl you want to talk to her." Fuckers set me up again. I want nothing to do with that, and tell him to keep going. We left. Matt drops off the other guys, and then me and laura at my house. They share a hug for the night. No big deal right? Of course no big deal. We get in my car and i drive her home. She wants to hang out more often, but its like some damn brother / sister thing now.

Heh, no hug for myself, just a wave. I pull out of her driveway and take it slow back to my house. The Who was playing on the local classic rock station, and i cranked it. The song was Won't Get Fooled Again. Man i wish i could live by that song. So... i got back home and opened the door inside, took off my shoes, and theres my little brother at the top of the stairs. "Hey pal, how're you doing?" He replied with "Not bad." "Thats good," I said, "get some sleep pal." Then i retreated down here for the night, the basement. Where i then sat down and realized something.

I, am a dumbass. I pass up shit and don't think twice about it till later. I hang on to old thoughts and hope that maybe someday, i'll act upon them. Who the hell am i kidding, except only myself. Thanks for reading, no feedback necessary, I merely felt like sitting down and writing before i sleep for a brief period, and then get up for work.