Same Shit, Different Day

So, my friend Laura is single once more, and laying it on strong. I've classified her as the type of person that loves attention. She is incredibly needy. Needy in what way you might ask? The kind of needy that has to be the center of someones attention. Maybe its the fact that she is the youngest of four children, or a multitude of other things. Try as I may, I can't help but be attracted to her, physically, and personality.
Last summer was the same deal.
And believe it or not, I think I might be falling for her charm once more. Ohh no no no, not that I'd get anywhere, not a kiss, nothing. It's that I'm the guy on the side, the one that she can safely flirt with and leave.... juuuuuuusssst.... hanging on the edge. The kind of person that you (and by you I mean me) tell yourself you won't pick up the phone for, but do anyway. I feel jealous when she talks of being out with other guys. She spoke of some sort of hickey tonight, and mentioned some sort of scrape on her knee too. I was angry in a quiet way, a way that doesn't show.
So, I ask myself why do I feel connected to this girl? Why the fuck do I keep telling myself I maybe, just maybe, might have a chance when hell freezes over? I wish I knew.

I was speaking with my good friend Jake, and we decided that we both like, and hate women. In some strange event we were able to express how we hated how they act, and how shit changes on a whim, while during the same moment, we can't help but enjoy being around them. Women are something we most definately are confused about.

Last summer was the same shit. I had this thought in my head that I, of all people, have a chance. And now, I'm lapsing back into the same pattern. I told myself that I wouldn't do it, that I was stronger... and what was I doing tonight with said girl? Flirting shamelessly. I have much self loathing when it comes to my weakness for a pretty face.